Premeditated Resentments

Expectations are premeditated resentments. ~ Lanaya

When I know what will happen,
borrow the trouble from next week,
next year, when Arron dies, when I retire…
When I know the future and have it planned
whether to my control or assume the worst,
the thing I dread will come true…
When what lies ahead is determined
at least in my mind, within my imagination…
then I worry about it as though it had passed
and the resentments are just as real
as those based on my past, not my imagined future.
And I know in my heart when I finally pause to think
that I'm as powerless over that future as over the past
and as over my life as it is right now, the only life
I have time to deal with, one day at a time,
asking for guidance and listening, not planning
future resentments.