Act as If

The apostle Thomas
had one up on me, said
"I believe, help my unbelief."
I don't believe but you say
I must, that I "came to believe"
in some power greater than me.
You talk of the God of my Understanding
but without any understanding,
where's God?
Act as if? You mean lie to God
if he's there? What can that help?
Lying gets me into trouble.
Believe me, I know. Isn't that like
lying to a judge?
But you say it's okay?
I don't believe you.
You say act as if b'cause
God believes in me?
I'd like to believe in a God
who believes in me.