Hugging Hopelessness

I was not just holding on to hopelessness and depression, I was hugging it! - Kaitlan K

How can you not want to be whole?
Who could find comfort in chaos?
Why would I eat until misery reigned
knowing from the start it would be,
starting from far-too-full at the first?
For no sane reason at all.
Stupidity, obstinacy, fool-headedness…
There's no hope, I can do nothing.
Except to embrace the fact there really is
a power that can restore me to sanity.