A Going On

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~ Hal Borland

How many years did I start a new diet,
list things I would accomplish,
promise to do better?
More than sixty, I’d guess.
The one year I really restarted my life,
changed forever, was 2006/2007,
the December I had read
Overeaters Anonymous, 2nd Edition,
and intended to join after Christmas…
the who starts a diet before Christmasattitude. Then Sunday, December 17th,
I stopped at a convenience store named “Skinny’s”…
I kid you not! and got back in the car
with cappuccino and an apple fritter,
and I told God aloud, “This is stupid!!”
Then I consumed it, went to Sunday school,
and back at home I researched OA
as well as online groups. I made contact
with OA people all over the world,
local as well as in Israel, Australia,
California, and others.
The next Sunday, Christmas Eve, I fell,
hurting my left rotator cuff.
I knew what I’d done because ten years before
I had damaged the right one even worse.
I didn’t get medical help, fearing I wouldn’t
be allowed to fly to London in three days.
I made the trip, finding Internet cafes when possible
to report my food behaviors to new worldwide friends.
We did well, despite the painful arm and,
the trip and Christmas behind me, weighed a pound less
on reaching home. Weeks later
I finally attended an OA meeting, getting a 30-day chip
rather than the newcomer one.
Truly for me that year and the next dozen,
Year’s end was neither an end nor a beginning
but a going on, with all the wisdom
that experience can instill in me.

Respond to Your Possibilities

We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program, its possibilities and our purpose, and it’s that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Idly observing life from the sidelines
guarantees no development
beyond our present level.I’ve been there, done that,
proved it true! There is, of course,
frequently a honeymoon period
inherent in finding kindred souls
who understand and offer encouragement,
but that doesn’t work until you delve in,
work the Steps, use the tools,
and live up to our commitment
to the program, its possibilities
and our purpose, and we’re amazed
at the peace and progress that
changes us into new people,
eating rationally and recovering
day after day physically,
emotionally, and spiritually!

I Resolve

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings…
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

Look at prior New Year’s Day posts
to find often the statement, “I don’t make
New Year’s Resolutions.”
Why would I buck tradition
dating back to Julius Caesar?
I used to make them…to loose weight,
to stop stupid computer games,
to clean the house and keep it organized.
But to work on anything but today,
on the current issue, does no good.
So I’ve compromised. One day at a time
I’ll work Steps Six and Seven,
realizing as I do a Tenth Step
which of my character defects
are ready to surrender.
Have a blessed 2020, 0ne day at a time!
I certainly expect to!

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Copyright : alexlmx 

Serenity

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Amen. ~ The Serenity Prayer

God. The Power greater than us
we came to believe could restore us to sanity,
the One about Whom we made a decision
to turn our will and our lives over
to the care of as we understood Him.

Grant. to give the possession or title of
by a deed…
 to consent to carry out for a person.

Me. My humble self, the lowliest person
in the world… or the center of all,
the fulcrum on which the world pivots.

The. A specific word, not those or them.

Serenity. The state of being calm,
peaceful,
and untroubled.

To Accept. Consent to receive.
Agree to possess. Welcome.

The Things. A specific with a vague word.
Whatever. Anything.

I. Not about you, not giving directives,
looking at just me.

Cannot. Impossibility to be accepted
rather than contested.

Change. Make or become
a different substance entirely; transform.

Courage. The ability to do something
that frightens one. Get ready!

to Change. Swap. Exchange. Interchange.
Substitute. Switch. Commute. Convert.
Replace. Rotate. Transpose.

The things. The Things.

A specific with a vague word.
Whatever. Anything.

I can. Be able to.
Be able to through acquired knowledge or skill.
Have the opportunity or possibility to

and. Don’t stop, Keep going.

Wisdom. The quality of having experience,
knowledge, and good judgment;
the quality of being wise. Man, I want this!

To know. To be aware of
through observation,
inquiry, or information.

The difference. A point or way
in which people or things are not the same.

Amen. A word uttered
at the end of a prayer
or hymn,
meaning
“so be it.”
From Greek amēn,
from Hebrew ‘āmēn
truth, certainty,
used adverbially
as expression of agreement.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

What You Deserve

You’ll be amazed at what you attract when you start believing in what you deserve. ~ TinyBuddha.com

What do you think you deserve?
For many of us the answer is a snippet
of the actual answer. We’ve spent so many years
demeaning  ourselves, debasing our value,
we cannot fantom our actual worth.
We are children of God, people of value!
Why do people fail to value people?
Even more, why do we fail to value ourselves?
Is there wisdom in the suggestion,
“Give yourself permission to fail,
set yourself up for success”?
Think about it.
You’ll be amazed at what you attract
when you start believing
in what you deserve!

Die to the Past

Die to the past every moment. You don’t need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment and the fullness of Being. Feel your presence. ~ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (p. 84). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

One day at a time,
one moment at a time,
we let the past go.
We live today,
telling our fellows of our past
to make a point to tell
of the mess we made of our lives,
what happened, and what it’s like now.
We remember
and we share our transformation
but the past is dead. Let’s remember
as an exemplar, but live now
and make what is to come
even better than now,
certainly better than the past
as we feel the power
of this moment and the fullness of Being.
Feel your presence!

Talk to God, Names Don’t Matter

He is Father. Even more, God is Mother, who does not want to harm us. ~ Pope John Paul I

A list of sixteen names for God include
​El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty) Who is God to you?
El Elyon (The Most High God),
Adonai (Lord, Master)
Yahweh (Lord, Jehovah)
Jehovah Nissi (The Lord My Banner)
Jehovah Raah (The Lord My Shepherd)
Jehovah Rapha (The Lord That Heals)
Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There)
Jehovah Tsidkenu (The Lord Our Righteousness)
Jehovah Mekoddishkem (The Lord Who Sanctifies You)
El Olam (The Everlasting God)
Elohim (God)
Qanna (Jealous)
Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)
Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace) and
Jehovah Sabaoth (The Lord of Hosts).
Do you have others?
I decided once to call God Demiurge,
a being responsible for the creation of the universe.
Even Pope John Paul I
approved of God the Mother.
I’ve told you of the young man
in a Recovery retreat who prayed to Howard,
as in Howard be Your Name.
Call God “Hey  You” if that appeals,
just welcome him in and pray
for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.

Just Me

I’m me, God. l never rise above being myself. ~ Joanne

A game of make-believe has lasted many years…
Since sitting under the dining-room table
before  the evaporative cooler, a towel on shoulders
to imagine the blizzard… Playtime where stories
created by me, staring me, facilitated my pride.
Later I pretended to be important, to fit in,
to be a star instead of feeling like a failure.
Finally after many years I found Recovery,
met others like me who, amazingly LIKED ME
and I learned Idid not need to pretend.
I was worthy, to feel the truth, finally comfortable
that, “I’m me, God. l never rise above being myself.
And finally I find no need to!”

Do Not Hurry

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. Commend all to God, and then lie still and be at rest in His bosom. ~ St. Francis de Sales

Which of your character defects
are addressed in these forty-four words?
For me they start with worrying
rather than starting, doing.
They continue with anxiety
rather than tranquility,
with angst rather than trust
doubt rather than faith
and self-reliance rather than surrender
to a Power Who can
when agitation and panic are all I can manage.

St. Francis de Sales 

A GI'S Gift

Olive drab is basic pain,
endless hikes in drizzling rain.
Blue is Christmas TDY,
raucous joy so I won’t cry.
Red courage stains on desert sands,
youth drained out in cruel lands,
white-knuckled fear,
all fossilize this PFC with gaping eyes.
That’s the gift I give to you,
olive drab, red, white, and blue.

The Innkeeper's Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas, and all up and down
there were bone-weary travelers in Bethlehem town.
The stern edict had gone out from Caesar himself,
each man should return now to pay from his wealth.

To their ancestors’ hometown they each must now go
to pay taxes and tribute – all men, high and low.
The descendants of David were gathering here
in the village of Bethlehem; rooms were quite dear.

It was late in the evening by light of the moon
when a man known as Joseph asked me for a room.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him, “My inn is so crammed
’tween the mats and the bedding you can’t lay a lamb.”

Then he mentioned his wife, said the room was for her,
and he asked me to help him, “I beg of you, sir.”
I told him I’d let all the rooms – even mine –
Then abruptly I started – the barn would do fine!

You’d have thought I had offered a fine, regal house.
He fashioned a place for her bed near the cows,
then led her to lie in the haphazard bed
and bundled his cloak to place under her head.

I walked down the path to my own crowded dwelling
but paused when I fancied a melody swelling.
“Not so,” I decided, and quickened my step.
“It’s that glow on their faces I cannot forget.”

While I stood at the doorway to gather my thoughts
and go into the inn filled with people and cots
something flashed in the sky then grew bright ’til it shone –
There! A brilliant new star lit the animals’ home.

Right there in the doorway, my soul filled with peace,
And I felt such a wonderful rush of relief.
I turned toward the hill and the manger aglow.
Such a radiance filled the whole valley below

where a small band of shepherds stood huddled in fear
as they stared toward the sky and the Being up there.
Now I never had seen here on earth or up high
any angels, but there was one up in the sky.

The glory of God filled the sky with bright light.
It seemed as I looked to be day and not night.
Then he said to the shepherds who quaked with their fear,
“Don’t be scared. I have great news that you’ll want to hear.

For not only to you but to all of the earth
I bring news of great joy in the form of a birth.
For the Christ child you wait for is born here tonight
and he lies in that barn where the star’s shining bright.

There his mother has wrapped him in pieces of cloth
and she’s laid him to sleep in a cow’s eating trough.”
In a flash appeared hundreds of angels with him
And the heavens were filled with the strains of a hymn:

“Now to God be the glory, on earth be my peace,
and may feelings of malice throughout the world cease.”
Just as quick as they’d come all those angels were gone
and the shepherds stood wondering ’til one said, “Come on.

Let’s go see what the angels have told us about –
come along, time’s a’wasting.” And he started out.
All the others soon followed to where the star shone,
after leaving the sheep in the valley alone.

They all came to my manger and stooped to go in
to the once humble place and the glory within.
There Joseph was standing by Mary, his wife,
who was stroking the child that first night of his life.

And the song of the angels again softly rang
as we knelt to the King, he whose birth they proclaimed.
Then I heard the dear mother in voice, oh, so slight,
“A glad CHRISTmas to all on this most holy night.”

Are You Standing in Your Sunshine?

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you get in your own way?
Do you block yourself off from sunshine?
Do you direct your attention to others’ lives
to the detriment of seeing what’s wrong
with you?  Giving advice to others,
volunteering to improve their lives…
that’s intruding. Discerning advice for yourself
is facilitating your own growth.
Today, don’t stand in your own sunshine!

All You Owe is Love

All you owe any person in the world is love, and love is wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself – health, happiness, and all the blessings in life. ~ Joseph Murphy

Matthew 22:36-40 NIV: “Teacher,
which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.”This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
So how do we love our neighbor as ourself?
We must first assume we love ourself.
When we manage this frequently Herculean task,
we find love by wanting for our fellows
what we want for ourselves…
health, happiness, and all the blessings in life!
I love you. I wish for you health,
happiness, and all the blessings in life!

Your Window to the World

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. ~ George Bernard Shaw

It’s always my fault…
at least it’s always my responsibility.
I can ask for serenity to accept
what I can’t change,
to change what I can change,
and for wisdom to know the difference…
but that wisdom tells me
the ONLY thing I can change is me!
So I better keep myself clean and bright,
for I am the window through which
I must see the world!

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Know How to Love

oAs soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.  ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Do you you trust yourself?
Who are you. really?
Do you conform your actions,
your thoughts, your values
to those originally someone else’s?
Your parent’s, even when you’ve
seemingly been independent
for decades? Or your spouse,
your social group, the preacher?
Dig past ways you bury yourself,
your needs, wants, and desires.
Begin to listen to yourself
and begin to trust yourself.
Once you can trust yourself,
you can start to live your own life,
for your own reasons.
But trust yourself also to
have a relationship with God
as you understand God,
and you can reach beyond fears
that once claimed you
and find you really do
know how to live.

                Image copyright : leekris

About Step Eleven

As a result of the actions of Steps 4-10, we removed the things that were blocking us from God. Now we can carry out the decision we made in Step 3 of turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Through prayer and meditation, we can receive God’s will for us and the power to carry it out. ~ McQ, Joe. The Steps We Took (p. 122). August House. Kindle Edition.

Joe McQ explains the connection
between the Third and Eleventh steps:
“We could say that the Steps
have two crucial points:
the turning over of our will
in Step 3 and the receiving of God’s will
in Step 11.” Steps Four through Ten
teach us how to go about receiving God’s Will.
It’s an explanation of the interrelations
of the Steps that rings true.
God, teach me the truth of the commitment
to have Sought through prayer
and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge
of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.

Friendship

Our understanding of friendship has changed since being introduced to the Twelve Steps. How we act as friends has changed too. Now we know that friends don’t judge, they don’t try to control, they accept how other people are, and they never betray a confidence. They listen, they love, and they offer hope. And they don’t run away when they don’t like what they hear. What we have learned influences our old friendships too, and everybody benefits. ~ Casey, Karen. Peace a Day at a Time: 365 Meditations for Wisdom and Serenity. Red Wheel Weiser. Kindle Edition.

When I was ruled by my compulsion,
by my addiction, by my eating,
I would have told you there were people
who thought I was their friend,
but that I had no friends.
That has changed now that I am in Recovery,
now that I have learned who I am,
I’ve learned I’m neither better (higher)
nor worse (below) my fellows,
that there’s no reason to judge
either them or myself.
I’ve learned to listen, to love, and to offer
and receive hope. I’ve found my family of choice
and I choose to recognize even those
who have not chosen Recovery
and the joys of a Twelve-Step program
as my people as well.
Thank you for being my friend!

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THE SHAPE OF THE WORLD

…living in a world characterized by destructive fears as never before in history, we see great areas of faith, and tremendous aspirations toward justice and brotherhood. Yet no prophet can presume to say whether the world outcome will be blazing destruction or the beginning, under God’s intention, of the brightest era yet known to mankind.
In microcosm, we [in A.A.] have experienced this identical state of terrifying uncertainty, each in his own life. In no sense pridefully, we can say that we do not fear the world outcome, whichever course it may take. This is because we have been enabled to deeply feel and say, “We shall fear no evil—Thy will, not ours, be done.” ~ AA World Services Inc. As Bill Sees It. A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Big Book, the development of setting up
Recovery happened in the 1930’s.
From the Stock Market crash in the early years,
the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl through
the rise to power of the Axis nations
made a frightening time in history.
But each of us could describe contemporary issues
to rival them. Would you say we’re experiencing
an equivalent state of terrifying uncertainty today?
Can we say with Bill W, we “each in his own life.
In no sense pridefully, we can say that we do not fear
the world outcome, whichever course it may take.
[that] this is because we have been enabled
to deeply feel and say, “We shall fear no evil
—Thy will, not ours, be done.”?

Self Will Cannot Overcome Self Will

We do well to recall that there are only two wills on earth: God’s will and self-will, and self-will can only be overcome by God’s will. Self-will cannot overcome self-will. That is our greatest trouble: we are trying to make ourselves better. We can’t do it. ~ McQ, Joe. The Steps We Took (p. 43). August House. Kindle Edition.

Pulling yourself up by bootstraps wont cut it.
Self-will cannot overcome self-will.
That is our greatest trouble:
we are trying to make ourselves better.
We can’t do it.
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills
over to a Power greater than we are.
When we finally and completely get that right
our lives take wings and really are
BEYOND OUR WILDEST DREAMS!

God and Me

Do you bargain with God? Do you complain to God more than you express gratitude? Do you tend to pray for specific things rather than pray in appreciation? ~ Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing (p. 283). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Praying in appreciation?
Never thought of it before…
certainly not in those terms!
But it certainly makes sense.
Gratitude for what we receive
is logical, expected, whether
addressed to God or to a person.
But how often do we set down a to-do list,
coming back to our expectations…
either to remind God of omitted items
remaining, “needing” to be ticked off.
God, teach me to pray,
remembering always
Who of the two of us can best understand
the situation!