There Is No Try

 “Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.” ~ Tony Robbins

Do or do not, there is no try.

Yoda understood.
The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
of Overeaters Anonymous understand.
"Once we compulsive overeaters
truly take the third step,
we cannot fail to recover."

Do or do not, there is no try!

Consult Your Hopes and Dreams

Most of us have amassed

more than enough fears, 

frustrations, disappointments. 

We can list ad infinitum

 the times we disappointed ourselves,

our friends, our supporters.

But the rewards in continuing that recitation

are nil,  counterproductive.

We are best served by consulting our hopes, our dreams, 

by considering what is still possible for us to do.

Consult Your Hopes and Dreams

Most of us have amassed

more than enough fears,

frustrations, disappointments.

We can list ad infinitum

 the times we disappointed ourselves,

our friends, our supporters.

But the rewards in continuing that recitation

are nil,  counterproductive.

We are best served by consulting our hopes, our dreams,

by considering what is still possible for us to do.

Broken People

God uses broken people like you and me to rescue broken people like you and me. ~ Eddie Cortes

I am broken, thank God!
It's no longer a miserable feeling,
being broken. There's comfort there,
in brokenness...because I found a fellowship
of broken people and in our brokenness
we find we are the only people
who have felt isolated by brokenness
so understand the loneliness, the despair,
the isolation and cam give the fellowship,
the cure, the joy that comes from watching,
remembering sharing the exit from those
who in their brokenness find the fellowship
and hope.

I Surrender All

Because of this oath, Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant.

Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. There fore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. ~ Hebrews 7:22-25 (NIV)

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give them selves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 58

Completely.
Not a plurality,
not more likely than not,
not clear and convincing evidence,
not even proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
Completely.
A hundred ten percent.
Cannot completely give self to Steps,
can’t be honest
even to the committee in the mind.
Completely hopeless.
But letting go,
surrender —
surrender to one whose
completely works,
saves us from
self,
saves us to
life.

God, I surrender all.
Completely.

Rollins, Barbara. A Cloud of Witnesses -
Two Big Books and Us
(Kindle Locations 1067-1083).
Eagle Wings Press imprint
of Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition. 

Under Construction

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

The road to success is always under construction. ~ Arnold Palmer

Retired. Three-score and ten...plus.
I believed if I didn't grow up
by forty it wasn't going to happen,
and I changed myself, rewrote my life that year.
But old, staid, settled, uninteresting...
what's ahead at this point?
Writing, at long last, those books I've planned?
Am I, possibly, still under construction?

It's the Fellowship

Today, I stand in the middle of a full-fledged spiritual awakening. I have begun working the Steps in earnest, albeit grudgingly. I have begun to follow suggestions provided by other members. I’m beginning to realize that God tapped me on the shoulder that day and told me all I would ever need to know. Now I know that to learn how to apply the great wisdom God revealed to me that day, I need to join my fellows. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Seeking the Spiritual Path: A Collection from Lifeline (Kindle Locations 179-183).

I stand in the middle
of a full-fledged spiritual awakening.
I try to do my part, working the Steps,
listening to others, understanding
my Higher Power may well be speaking
through other people, using the resources
available, actively working the program.
And I know my Higher Power is with me
without exception, whether I choose
to communicate or not. God set it up
for the fellowship to hold me, be used
for God's communication.But if I listen,
if I try, if I stand united with my fellows.
I stand in the middle
of a full-fledged spiritual awakening.

To Those Who Think Most Often of Food

How many diets have you begun?
Have they ever been successful,
so you were content six months
after the last day you dieted?
Can you take one from a serving dish
of your favorite food, leaving the rest?
Do you eat in secret, hiding how much you eat?
Would you say you're powerless over food?
Did you know there are more like you,
who ate for years like that
but have found serenity?
These people are members
of Overeaters Anonymous,
and there are more than 6,500 registered groups
in over 80 countries,
about 60,000 members worldwide.
You can find serenity, too.
Just find the neatest meeting of OA.

I Can't Wait for Thanksgiving Because...

Thanksgiving was the dining table

and the football game on TV,
the annual confrontation
of Aggies and Longhorns.
Both were emotional events,
the desire to win it all...
but times change.
"So good-bye to texas university
We’re going to beat you all to
Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem
Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem
Rough Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A&M!"
and "Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
And it’s goodbye to A&M.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
And we’ll put over one more win."
may still ring out but not at the same game.
And the food on the table is bountiful
but no one including me
demands I eat from every dish.
And from the feast, it's easy to
build a meal fitting my food plan.

I can’t wait for the Thanksgiving holiday
because I can visit family and friends
without a stomachache or guilt,
for the times have changed!

Friendly Temptation

Aunt Bessie will bring seven pies
for Thanksgiving. And her feelings
will be hurt if you don't try several.
Grandmother doesn't believe
in moderation on special days
and will not rest until you've eaten
plenty of calories for two weeks
on your food plan. Resentments?
Probably. But it's better to resent them
for offering than to resent yourself
for accepting.

I Learned It Is about Me

Thirty-five years ago I
was counseled five years,
seeking sanity. After
maybe a couple hundred sessions,
the psychologist told me
there was nothing wrong with me,
end a relationship and I'd do fine.
Maybe ten years later,
a different psychologist
another five years
and the same response again.
I don't give up, another century,
another try, another counselor.
Different results. She was atuned
to recovery, recognized my part,
worked on changing me.
Eleven years ago she gave me a present,
Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition.
I read it, knew they were my people,
decided to thy it...after Christmas!!
Who starts weight loss right before Christmas?
God nudged me, I agreed about the food
I held, telling God, "This is stupid!"
December 17, 2006, I gave up,
found OA people, found my part
and have worked these years to become
Recovered, and the relationship continues,
with both of us better people.

Patience

Sociologists call it “benign neglect.” What it is, is patience. If only I can keep myself from rushing about to do something, things generally turn out fine. I first do what I can, then let go. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. For Today (Kindle Locations 3116-3117).

Benign Neglect: a noninterference
intended to benefit someone or something
more than continual attention would.
That's not substantially different
from the Serenity Prayer, is it?
And surrender to a Higher Power,
"Not my will but Thine be done!"

Having Our Own Needs

For too long, we’ve stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We’ve shut off, for too long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured. It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 333).

What do I need? "I'm just fine."
My parents remembered
my saying that as a pre-schooler
in the hospital. I never stopped
answering, "I'm just fine."
But how true is it?
I need a lightbulb changed,
but that will happen soon.
I need knee surgery
but a new insurance card first.
I need a prescription renewed...
but that insurance card first.
I really am just fine.
My Recovery improves home.
I need hugs but get them
at meetings, respect
but I leave the house
seven times a week,
and get that in abundance,
as well as through the computer.
What do I need? I need to be better
at acknowledgingI can't do it all,
at asking for help when I need it,
at accepting aid when I need it,
and pampering me
when that's what I need.

Each Day Is New

Yesterday cannot be changed.
Tomorrow can be planned for
but not affected today. 
Only one day can be changed,
just today. But if it's a day of Recovery
it will take it's place
as a day of peace, purpose,
service and joy.

Rightful Getting Even

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people... but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us. ~ Steve Maraboli

Have you ever longed to get even...
with those who have helped you?
The normal context of getting even
poisons your soul.
And if you've worked a Fourth Step
you understand you contributed greatly
to your grudge, your resentment.
What if you don't know who helped you?
It doesn't matter.
The random acts of kindness idea
started in a Sausalito, California, restaurant
in 1982 when Anne Herbert scrawled the words
"practice random acts of kindness
and senseless acts of beauty"
on a place mat. Are you ready
to get even...the right way?

I Am to Blame

I listed folks who made me mad
years and years ago, people
I resented, blamed them
for wrecking my life.
But as I looked back now
piecing together what happened
I realized almost without exception
the fault was mine, the resentment
a fictionalized account of truth,
that real truth be told,
in each case I was to blame.

In God's Presence

I won’t attempt to explain this—what it felt like to be in the same room with God’s presence surrounding me, because that would be impossible. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Seeking the Spiritual Path: A Collection from Lifeline (Kindle Locations 159-160).

Immanuel. God with us.
We were told.
Twenty-seven thousand years ago
it was a promise but it came to pass
in Bethlehem, the physical presence.
But the truth is timeless.
The prophet Zephaniah said,
"The Lord your God is with you..."
The Psalmist said, "God is our refuge
and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
And again, " I call on the LORD in my distress,
and he answers me." And yet again,
"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble."
Have you felt God's presence?
I remember his responding to me
forty-eight years ago. But he has remained
when I doubted, rebelled, ignored him.
He is present, will let you know that
when it matters most.
We I call on the LORD in our distress,
and he answers us.

I Don'y Know

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. ~ Mark Twain

We don't know everything
but we feel obligated to answer,
to know the course not only for us
but for our children, employees,
those we supervise.
It feels wrong at times not to know
especially if in times past
we've taken on our shoulders
to manage the whole world.
If you need to know
there are ways to find out
but before you try to manage a life
be sure it's yours.

Transformed

You've seen the movies,
previews at least,
and the toys probably.
Transformers.
But you've seen people, too,
who have transformed once, 
occasionally more often.
Generally speaking these folk
are recovery prople,
folk who heard about 
the twelve steps,
needed relief and tried them.
It's as though they were folded
in a different way
after having been unfolded...
Its most obvious on the inside
but true outside as well.
If you've given up
on remaking yourself,
if you're powerless
over a compulsion,
and can't manage your life,
give it a try and let
Twelve simple Steps
make a transformer
from your mess.

What Should's Run Your Life?

Take a moment. Examine whose should’s are running your life. Are the things you tell yourself you need to be doing true expressions of your legitimate goals, responsibilities, and commitments? ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 353).

What should you be doing?
Who said you should?
Under what authority are you acting?
What are you doing?
What emotions are close to the surface?
Is what you're doing necessary?
Will it take you where you want to be?
Is it hard to turn where you feel you should?
Are you walking the path of your heart?

Don'y Be Sorry, Don't Do It.

Sixty years ago?
Something like that.
I messed up,
said I was sorry.
Thought that was proper.
Daddy thought not,
it wasn't enough.
"Don't be sorry, don't do it."
I think just like that,
no exclamation point,
no raised voice.
Just, "Don't be sorry, don't do it."
Br careful. live right,
follow the rules.
Avoid remorse, apologies.
"Don't be sorry, don't do it."

Fat Albert Remade

Hey, hey, hey. My name is Albert
and I'm a compulsive overeater.
I've been in program eighteen months,
and I've surrendered two hundred pounds.
I also lost the defacto first name of "Fat."
I'm still jolly and lead the junkyard band,
and I'm still a leader, but I'm different,
inside and out and have learned
I can be the real me, so even the jolly part is truth!

The Big Book

In the 1930's the universe tilted
though only slightly at the time.
A drunk named Bill sobered up
with the help of a surprisingly sober friend
and a doctor long-familiar with Bill.
He happened to travel from New York City
to Akron, Ohio, for an ill-fated business deal
and was marooned there short on funds,
and shaky for lack of his old fix-all.

Clinging to sobriety
he sought drunks to talk to, finding one.
And then there were two sober drunks.
One by one they acquire more until at last
they neared a hundred.
Know as the Drunk Squad of the Oxford Group,
they knew thousands of drunks needed their prize
but that a hundred men could never see them all.
A book was the answer, their way of meeting with many more.
They wrote the book, called it Alcoholics Anonymous
and, naming themselves for the book,
they set out and changed not just drunks
but the whole world!

Lessons from Relationships

Some relationships trigger healing in us—healing from issues of the past or an issue we’re facing today. Sometimes we find ourselves learning the most important lessons from the people we least expect to help us. Relationships may teach us about loving ourselves or someone else. Or maybe we’ll learn to let others love us. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 323). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Maybe in a relationship
you can teach me to let you love me.
Or to let other people love me.
Unlikely friends. A woman
whose mind no longer grasps the real.
But lessons learned assure me
if she could love me I'm worth the stretch
to let me love myself.
Unlikely friends. A woman born
eight time zones away. Similar educations
but opposite lives. A language barrier
when both speak English.
If she can love me but hate my drawl,
I can love me and deal with speech issues
newly acquired and unpleasant to acknowledge.
A woman sixteen years my senior
when I feel old, worn out, used up
but she helps me understand
that physical problems
leave plenty of assets to love.
Relationships may teach us
about loving ourselves
and I've learned to.

The People Next Door

 Those folk at the crack of dawn
are in the conference room
next to our office
come in grinning, hugging,
seeming so glad to see everyone,
even when the introduce themselves.
They circle up, start a formal meeting
exactly on the hour. They read
and talk, laugh and sometimes cry
then, an hour gone, circle up,
do some kind of chant and start the hugs
once more. A sign labels them
as Overeaters Anonymous
but they're every size and shape.
Sometimes I want to go in
if only for the love.

 

Unexamined Life

The unexamined life is not worth living.  ~ Plato

I react, follow, resent, swallow objections.
But that is holding on to old ways,
ingrained patterns. And another word (phrase)
for ingrained patterns is character defect.
In Step Six, I became entirely ready
to have God remove all these defects of character.
Then in Step Seven I humbly asked Him
to remove our shortcomings.
If they have been removed, opposites replace them.
Have I begun to acting rather than react?
Have I learned to take the lead
when to follow is not best choice?
Do I still resent when I should find happiness?
Do I state my objection or still swallow it?
Have I examined my life?
Do I believe an unexamined life is not worth living?
Or do I know that but chicken out
and hold tight to my character defects?

The Lonely Dance

Celebrate the miracle of transformation in your life—whatever you’re trying to become, do, or learn. Let it happen as quickly, or as slowly, as it needs. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (p. 346).

Let yourself dance, alone if need be,
with family and friends as it comes...
Let yourself dance when your life,
once unmanageable and leaving your powerless
begins to change, inches toward joy,
hints of  serenity to come.
Let yourself dance and feel the good that comes.

Not My Job

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    the builders labor in vain. ~ Psalm 127:1a

I don't manage the world, direct the play...
Once that was my job, but no longer.
Well, really it never was. I was powerless,
my life unmanageable, much less the world.
But the world can be managed to my liking,
all my needs met, my dreams fulfilled.
I did some preparation, working on me,
cleaning my house, releasing my wrongs,
making amends. But I turned control over
to a Power far greater than I, offering the Power
myself to use in building or however I was needed.
Then daily, I report for duty, surrendering,
"Not my will but Yours," and what is best for me,
sometimes what I wished for,
sometimes far better, comes to pass.

A Solemn Oath

 Yes, the old requirement about the priesthood was set aside because it was weak and useless. For the law never made anything perfect. But now we have confidence in a better hope, through which we draw near to God.
This new system was established with a solemn oath. Aaron’s descendants became priests without such an oath, but there was an oath regarding Jesus. For God said to him,
“The Lord has taken an oath and will not break his vow:
‘You are a priest forever.’” ~ Hebrews 7:18-21 (NLT)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums – we could increase the list ad infinitum. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 31

A solemn oath
is a solemn oath
but some are useless,
others eternal.
I swore I would but I didn’t.
I swore I could but I couldn’t.
Rules and laws never made perfect,
but hope exists,
hope with a new system,
established by one
who can keep a solemn oath,
made by one
who never breaks his vow,
a hope,
a promise forever.

God, my will’s useless,
abused, maimed, denigrated.
I give it to you
gladly.

Rollins, Barbara; OAStepper,
A Cloud of Witnesses -
Two Big Books and Us
(Kindle Locations 10er-1067).

On Rising

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (Kindle Locations 1298-1300).

 

I know what I need to do "on awakening."
I get it, understand the importance.
I have gone years ignoring Step Eleven.
I won't anymore. But one thing first, HP.
may I first surrender my habits, my practices.
I want to be willing, I want to do this right.
But help me, HP. I find I can't stop yawning.

What Is a Power Greater than You?

Fear can become a power greater than myself. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3916-3917). 

An old alcoholic known far and wide as "Barefoot"
called his Higher Power "Charlie, My Very Best Friend"
and once said, "I have found well over 10,000 positive names
that people around the world have used to address their Higher Power."
A name I have used is "Demiurge" defined as "a being
responsible for the creation of the universe" and associated
with Plato and gnosticism. I have heard GUS (Guy UpStairs)
and Harold (Harold be thy name.)
Step Two says we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity, and we are free to set the job description
for our own Higher Power. 
There are no don'ts in the step but we should consider the should nots.
Food doesn't work... we've tried that. Substituting another
dangerous habit is not advisable. Fear may well be a power
that fits the description, but no better choice than sugar, drugs,
alcohol or other people. Choose and name your own Higher Power
but be sure this Power is one to whom you can surrender control.