Sabotage

I don't have to sabotage myself and then say f-it and throw in the towel. ~ Julie 

Masters of manipulation,
that's my crowd. 
No hard and fast rules,
just good sense, right choices.
But with no rules,
who says what's right?
When I get over my head
I can declare I've found the exception,
the reason I no longer have to try,
and I can fail. I won't say
I'm going to fail, just do it,
and when I have, 
then what's the use?
It's obvious I can't stay the course.
So I'll fall into the food
and make a fool of myself
and maybe
someday
I'll come to my senses
and come back,
contrite.