Resentment

Not an ounce of pain where there was once devastation! I was just moved with compassion. I could not believe what I was feeling/experiencing! Not only was this woman not able to hurt me, I found that my heart is full of love for her. I never saw that coming! ~ Leah Isanangel

When you make a Fourth Step list
there are resentments,
then there are RESENTMENTS!
Some people can never be forgiven,
but we go through the process,
write what they did trying not to use
a whole notebook for that one
then in what way it hurt us
then...our part. For these giant ones
it feels like our part is tiny to their huge
but we write it out, tell someone else
(and God, but for these we've ranted 
to God lots and lots of times before)
and let the process work. 
Amends may come into it,
but for me not much.
For one of mine I stated in public
my indebtedness to her.
For another I figured out my motives,
knew I'd tried to use her
but not as wickedly as she used me.
No amends to her felt necessary.
For a third we talked —
twenty years later —
about her abysmal conduct.
She didn't remember
and by then I didn't care...
had actually sought her out
to pay her to do a service for me.
The miracle of the process
is not that the people change.
No, the miracle is we change
as we work the process.
I still may never trust them,
may never feel close, 
but they can't hurt me
and I can live next to them
saturated in peace.