Swimming in the Pool

He made a sound of disgust. Did he believe that? Or was it just a part of the cultural pool he’d swum in since he was a kid? ~ Laura Drake, Nothing Sweeter (Sweet on a Cowboy)

Sick families.
Sharing the addiction,
sharing the angst,
the self-loathing,
the fear, the shame.
We catch the paranoia
as though transmitted
in genes or passed by virus.
Patterns of coping
seen from our youth
seem to make sense
despite the fact
they fail for the role models.
We learn to swim
not in the clear water of love
but in the murk and filth
we early learn to hate
as we hate ourselves
for living there.