Magic Pill

I'm not really sure I want the magic pill. ~ Joan B

Oh, for the pill that fixes it.
I've looked, searched, for years.
When I was thirteen Mother took me
to see Doctor Brooks to get a pill —
a magic pill, a fix-it pill, a modern medical solution —
and what that did was convince me I was fat,
to start me on a lifetime of guilt and diets.
A young mother and lawyer, I drove three hundred miles
for a thirty-day supply of amphetamines.
Running out, I realized my body "needed" them
and never went back for the second month's.
Dr. Crumbliss prescribed carb blockers
after trying tons of other things. I used them  —
when I intended to go out to eat and wanted
a lot of carbohydrates. Other pills weren't pills...
a pin in my ear, hypnosis, giving myself shots,
promised treats for goals met, new clothes that didn't fit...yet?
I've tried the magic pills, but I've found they don't work
but that hope exists. It's called working the steps,
willingness, surrender, coming to believe...
and these things are so much better than a magic pill...
even if one should actually work.