Calling

You do not call something unless you want  it to come. ~ Old superstition.

How much time have I stood by,
acting as if I beseeched, intending to pray
procrastinating, forgetting, busying,
bustling, ignoring wisdom of the ages?
How often have I edged God out
cringing in fear that He might care,
that he could answer, that perhaps
he would? I'm not worthy, a sinner,
wanting to earn the right
to seek forgiveness. Inside,
deep down, I feared
he
might
come.