Leadership

Running the house,
being something close
to a proper household,
cleaning sometimes,
keeping others
from thinking badly of me.
I know how to do things right
even when I resent them
and eat over them
because I hate appearing
to do things right when I know
I'm lying, kidding, pretending.

But when I turn things over
to a power greater than I,
when I seek not do do what I need
to just get by but to follow,
to pray with meaning,
Not my will but yours...Then I get things done
not for show but for right,
for doing the next right thing,
for serving as I should.
I can't manage though I pretend to
but I can lead when I choose to follow
the leadership of an unseen power
who actually allows me to do his will,
not mine.