Not Cocky

We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous (Kindle Location 1175)

Cocky seems far from what I remember,
coming to realize insanity, helplessness,
an unmanageable life. But still, in retrospect
I see those days it fit. The second day
of that diet to end them all, or that grand day
when the scale rewarded efforts —
before I rewarded myself for the success
with apple fritter or such...
Yes, when fear didn't control,
I'd strut, the world under tight rein,
sure of self and willpower.
But now cocky doesn't work
for there's no self-pride.
Whatever I am, anything I can
is the work of a Power
working through me.