How Proud?

We are rarely proud when we are alone. ~ Voltaire

False fronts don't work when you build them,
maintain them, prop them up. Well, maybe
for others, for strangers, sometimes even —
perhaps for mere moments —
with family and close folk.
But for yourself? It's like performing magic,
trying to fool yourself about where the pea is,
how you got the rabbit in there,
where the dove could have come from...
If you're fooled, it's not magic.
And when it's more, when it's life,
then that you can't hide from you either.
When it's life pretending and false fronts
not only don't fool you but – if you cling to them —
propel you to doubt, to fear, to self-pity,
back to addiction.